A big thanks to CHEO

One and a half years ago my son had surgery at CHEO to correct his lazy eye.  Since then he has been followed regularly by Dr. M. O'Connor, Opthalmologist for regular check ups to make sure things were going well.  Yesterday was our final appointment, Dr. O felt my son's eyes were stable, had healed extremely well and no longer needed follow up from Clinic 8. 

I want to take this opportunity to thank Dr. O'Connor and all the staff at CHEO who were so wonderful through appointment bookings, surgery day, through to his discharge.  Dr. O is fantastic with the kids, is playful and patient during his appointments and seems to genuinely get a kick out of seeing his patients.  He listens to what they say, lets them answer his questions, and gives good positive reinforcement throughout the appointment.  

I feel lucky to live in a city with such a fantastic and supportive hospital for children.  They are truly family centered and treat the kids with such respect which makes them feel important and part of their own care. 

http://www.cheo.on.ca/

Reverie

As children we dream the biggest dreams possible.  To be a princess in a castle and find her prince charming, a superhero who defeats villains and saves the world.  As youths we dream of being adults, leaving home, being rich and famous.  As young adults we dream of our future spouse, career, home, children.  As parents we no longer dream solely for ourselves, our pattern changes and we begin to dream for our children.  In my case, I only have one child.  I dreamed a different dream long ago, experienced some heart-wrenching moments, but I'm beginning to realize that it doesn't matter in the same way that it used to.  He has fulfilled every wish I ever had about my future family.  Now I dream for him, that he will find happiness, that he will find love, that he will succeed at whatever it is he chooses to do in life.  I know I will have influence over him, but more than anything I want his life to be a result of his choices.  I want to help him make the best choices possible.  He will occasionally fail but as long as we can avoid disaster and help him learn from his mistakes, he will be stronger for it.  More than anything, I want to help him to continue to dream.  To believe in possibilities, to have the confidence to try even if he risks failing because in each experience there is something to be learned. I want for him more than I ever wanted for myself.  I am grateful for what I have, for who I have, and for the life I have.  I hope I can help get him to the place that makes him feel the same.


I started to write the above many months ago.  I never felt like it was something I could share publicly.  I was pretty convinced that  no matter how much I wanted it, my family would never be more than the 3 of us.  This was my way of making peace with that.  I had been conflicted for so long, I finally was able to get past it and realize how lucky I really was.  Not everyone gets to have what I have in my life.  Life is funny in the way that it works.  The minute you make peace with your demons, it throws you a curve (in my case in a good way) and you say to yourself "Wait a minute, where the hell did that come from?  How did that happen?"  And then the cup overflows. 

Tis the season

To be thankful.

Gratitude should not only be expressed at Christmastime but this year has been extra emotional.  A mere two weeks before Christmas we were shocked by the shootings in Newtown, CT.  That night every parent went home to their kids and held them extra long and extra tight because we became shockingly aware of how precious life is.  Each day we send our kids to school assuming they are in a safe secure place until they arrive back at home.  Any shooting spree is a shock and leaves us rocked, but this was so much worse because the majority of the victims were children.  Defenseless, innocent, and undeserving of having their lives taken from them for reasons that we may never fully understand.  The fallen adults were heroes.  Many giving their lives to save the students that they could.  It's the ultimate sacrifice to give your life to save that of another.  I have nothing but respect for the adults who did so without hesitation to protect the children. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1T7JwwyAv8

I thought this tribute was extremely classy by artists on The Voice.  Well done.

These are my gratitudes:

I am grateful to have my baby safe and happy and warm. 
I am grateful for my wonderful husband who is a wonderful father and my best friend.
I am grateful for my parents and siblings.
I am grateful for my friends.
I am grateful for every day I am able to spend with them.  
I am grateful to have a home, a job and steady income.
I am grateful.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.  May you all be lucky enough to spend them surrounded by love, as I have been.

The terror of night

Seriously.  Sometimes my dreams scare the beegeezus out of me.  Last night was particularly creepy.  Halloween dreams visiting a bit late, but man I woke up in a panic!  Visions of vampires, monsters, and things standing between me and my baby.  Fighting to get to him, to protect him from things he should not see.  It's a dream that crops up every now and then in different forms, I guess every mom and dad has similar dreams every now and then.  The minute I woke up I shot out of bed to make sure he was still in his.  Of course he was.  Sleeping like an angel.  What a relief.  Still felt like it took about 10 yrs off of my life though.  And I really don't have them to spare. 

What is it about our psyche that releases all of our anxiety in our dreams?  Why are mine so vivid and panic ridden?  Psychologists would have a field day with me, I'm sure.

Happy All Hallows Eve

The Witches’ Spell


Act IV, Scene 1 from Macbeth (1606) by William Shakespeare


A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder.

Enter the three Witches.

1 WITCH. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

2 WITCH. Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.

3 WITCH. Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!

1 WITCH. Round about the caldron go;

In the poison’d entrails throw.—

Toad, that under cold stone,

Days and nights has thirty-one;

Swelter’d venom sleeping got,

Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!

ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH. Fillet of a fenny snake,

In the caldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,

Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,

Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,

Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,—

For a charm of powerful trouble,

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

3 WITCH. Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;

Witches’ mummy; maw and gulf

Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark;

Root of hemlock digg’d i the dark;

Liver of blaspheming Jew;

Gall of goat, and slips of yew

Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;

Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;

Finger of birth-strangled babe

Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,—

Make the gruel thick and slab:

Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,

For the ingrediants of our caldron.

ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH. Cool it with a baboon’s blood,

Then the charm is firm and good.

Neglecting my blog

Does not mean that I neglect other aspects of my life!

Quite the opposite actually!

We are back into the full swing of Autumn, school has started my SK kid is right back into the routine of school.  It's different this year, he has HOMEWORK!  That dreaded word that makes parents and kids alike shiver with dread.  It's not that intense, but I can see it coming down the road.

The focus right now seems to be developing printing skills, working on letters, colours, lots more focus on French, on chante beaucoup en français, and to my surprise, safety!  Safety rules at school, fire safety, our family has now talked about a safety plan in terms of having a fire in the home, J does not quite understand about not stopping to put shoes on if there is a real emergency, but we're working on it!  He knows where all the smoke alarms are and also what the CO detector is for.

Work is work, it's busy busy and going to be more so over the next few months.  My boss is retiring, happily for her and sadly for the rest of us.  Her work will have to be absorbed partly by us and partly by other management.  It's not looking like they will replace her.  C'est la vie.

We are back into swimming lessons.  I have a front crawler!  His skills are coming along so well!  Seeing lots more of his head in the water which was always really challenging for him, but he's realizing now that he can swim much faster with his face in the water.  He's bringing his arms out of the water and starting to resemble more of a fish than a boy!  

Halloween is on the horizon and then shortly after it will be Christmas.  Where the heck does the time go?  Life is moving way too fast. 

"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." Mark Twain

Nine eleven oh-one

11 yrs ago when the World Trade Centre was attacked, I was at home watching tv, my program was interrupted shortly after the first tower was hit, I then watched live as the next plane flew into the other.  I knew at that moment, those buildings were going down.   When they collapsed I felt horrified that this could happen not that far from where I live, devastated for all the lives lost on that day.  I can't imagine what it must have been like to be in or around those towers on that day, to be a loved one getting a call to say goodbye, or don't worry, or I'm leaving the building I'll see you soon.  Some made it home, but many more didn't. 

First responders and others are still suffering the effects of illness from inhalation injuries/diseases.  They have been fighting all these years for medical coverage they so desperately need and deserve for serving the people of New York in the most heroic way possible.

This is the thought I want to leave you with.  How will we survive as the human race if we continue to choose violence to settle our differences?  We need to accept each other and embrace our diversity and understand that we are all equal.  Violence, oppression, exploitation, slavery have no place on this earth.

Call me an idealist, see if I care.