Sunday, August 29, 2010

A busy week!

This week has just been go go go.  Almost every evening has been full; we have family in town from out west and given that we don't get to see them often, we are trying to squeeze in as much time as possible. 

Monday night we spent at home, watching the movie Death at a Funeral.  Holy smokes we laughed a lot!  It was a great way to end the day.  Monday's are always tiring.  The rest of the week is when it gets busy!

On Tuesday night we had dinner together at my father-in-law';s my 3 yr old got to spend some good time playing with his little cousin, she is 2.  We brought with us his bike as well as the trike he used to ride so she could enjoy it while she's here.  They went for a ride together, he's is so into riding his bike.  It's one of his favourite activities.  She seemed to like it too although sometimes she would get off the trike to run after him.  It was faster for her, I guess.  The two of them are so cute together, he's almost a whole head taller, but it's surprising how similar they are in terms of looks.  You can certainly tell they are related!

Wednesday evening was spent with my parents.  They haven't seen their grandson for a while so we went over there to have dinner with them, play with all of his trains (that I'm very grateful are not in my house!  there are many, and they're kind of loud) and watch how easily he manipulates them.  "Nanny you want to go for a walk on the sidewalk?" He bats his little eyelashes and boom, gets them every time!  Three desserts later and a little while later, the little rascal would not go to sleep!!  Next time I'm leaving him with his grandparents.  That'll teach 'em!

Thursday was "Girls Night" with Tristan's family.  We had a fantastic dinner at La Dolce Vita on Preston St.  What an amazing meal.  I had the linguine with shrimp, smoked salmon, and a vodka cream sauce.  Super yummy!  They have a fantastic menu with many gluten-free options which was wonderful for my sister-in-law who is allergic.    After dinner we headed to the World Exchange to see, of course, a chick flick, Eat Pray Love. 

Friday night we spent shopping at Walmart, the place was a zoo.  Back to school shopping in full swing, entire families crowded in aisles, picking out backpacks, lunch boxes, and in general making a complete mess of the store.  There was crap everywhere!

Saturday is always a busy day, library, swimming lessons, and topped off with a corn roast!  We got to the library a few minutes before it opened, so we played hide-and-seek around the school that's attached as well as had races on the grass.  At the corn roast, my 3 yr old ran around, playing football, soccer, and climbing the play structure.  He handled the soccer ball like a pro!  I'll have to look for a soccer team for him to join!  He had so much fun with his cousin again.  It was great to see them playing together and with the other kids too! 

Sunday the fun continues with a kids party with Aunt Joan and then dinner with Tristan's family before they head back to Calgary. 

This week has been mega busy, but so very enjoyable.  We're trying to pack as much fun in before the summer ends.  Goodness knows that when winter comes and the temperatures drop, our time outdoors is limited.  Why can't summer last forever?


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A huge relief

I am so pleased that my 3 yr old is enjoying his new daycare.  Today was his second day, and when I picked him up he was happy, and wanted to tell me about everything he had done that day.  They took a walk down to the shopping plaza, visited one of his favourite stores (the Dollartwentyfiveortwodollarama lol), baked cupcakes, and played with trains.  I couldn't ask for anything more than to see his happy face at the end of a crazy day.  I guess that it goes to show that all things being equal, things do work out for the best.  I'm super glad that I can tuck away my guilty feelings and feel glad that this new situation will work out.  Again, I guess it just goes back the anxiety that I've previously blogged about.  Changes seem to be way more difficult for me than they are for him. My strategies for coping are virtually non-existent.  My husband, as wonderful as he is, is too matter of fact to help me deal with it.  My girl friends are much better, but I know they have their own difficulties and I hate to bother people with my problems.  Sometimes I reach out, but more often than not, I keep it to myself.  It's something that I've never understood about myself.  In any case, all of that just to say that I'm thrilled that my son is happy.  That is what matters the most to me.  That he is happy, safe, and well looked after.  I'm very fortunate to have been able to find fantastic caregivers for him. 

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Light at the end of the tunnel

This week has been a rough one.  Stress at work, stress at home, and the added challenge of finding new daycare for my son.  His caregiver has decided to go back to working outside the home at her previous job.  While I don't begrudge her her career, I can't help but feel betrayed, maybe that's too strong a word, let's go with disappointed.  Disappointed only because my son loves her and her children.  He is going to miss them and I know he will ask about them regularly.  I hope we can meet up for playdates or coffee at TH's so he can see his best friends.  On the bright side I was able to find a new daycare for him to go to.  She lives on our street, takes care of another little boy the same age as my son and seems like a very very nice lady.  I am looking forward to this new relationship especially since there are long term possibilities, ie. after school care since she is obviously on the bus route for the school he will attend. 

I also have some guilt feelings as this will be my son's 4th daycare in two years.  The first change was our decision, but the next two were not.  I hope he is not being damaged in any way.  I think he's pretty easygoing, he adjusts very easily and has only thrown not even a handful of real tantrums.  I hope he will adjust to this change with the same flexibility as he has always shown.  I just feel so badly that he's the one that has to deal with the change in his life.  I just want him to be happy.  I love my little bug. 

Thankfully this week is just about over.  I don't think I could take much more pressure.  My shoulder is even sore from being yanked around so much!!  I am looking forward to a weekend with not too many obligations.  I am planning to sleep in (I don't really know if 7:30 am is considered sleeping in, it is quite a bit later than the time I normally get up at), watch some tube, study a bit, pick up my library books, go to a star party...oh shit...this sounds busy already.  Maybe, Sunday I have to write my French mid-term.  F%^K.  Oh well.  Maybe next weekend. 

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Faith: lost or hiding?

I was raised Catholic.  I went to Catholic schools, underwent all of the usual sacraments:  Baptism, Communion, Confirmation, that you have as a child.  Somewhere around the age of 17-18 things became very unclear for me as to why I was Catholic.  I completely "lost" my faith.  There was an event that triggered this, it was huge and changed my life. I could not talk to God anymore.  My heart was broken and I didn't know how to recover.  My husband is also not religious in any way.  He identifies himself as atheist.  He has a very technical brain and the idea of a higher power is ludicrous to him.  His beliefs are very science based, Big Bang Theory, Evolution and all that jazz which I also think makes a lot of sense.  When we got married, we had a civil ceremony, no church wedding or sacrament of marriage for me.  I am okay with that.  What matters is that we are committed to each other so deeply that we've made it official/legal however you want to call it.  Our son is not baptized (which I think bugs my parents) but I am comfortable to let him make his own choices when he is older.  If he decides to explore religion, I will support him and answer any questions he might have, or help him to find the answers if I don't know.  For all I know he may decide to be Jewish and I'm not that savvy when it comes to the Torah.  I guess what I'm saying is that I believe religion is very personal and a person should have the right to choose.  In terms of my own personal choice, I would have to say that at the moment, I'm not sure.  There are some things I can't reconcile, like the church protecting priests who abuse children.  The fact that there are religions far older than Catholicism for example Hinduism.  Perhaps they were meant to be metaphorical rather than historical.  I have been wondering if I should perhaps go to church.  Or speak to a priest.  Or just say screw it, it's my life and I can choose to believe whatever aspects of Catholicism that I want to believe in. Or none at all.  No matter what however, I know that I am a good person and lead an honest, productive life, and do work that makes a difference.  If God smites me for that, or denies me entrance at the pearly gates, well, so be it.