Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Tristan:  "Where is the bread, or, ou est le pain?  Or is it la pain?"

Amanda:  "Le pain.  Pain is masculin"

Tristan:  "Oh, right, la pain would be the bunny"


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Truth #1

I am borrowing a little bit from my friend Karen.  She has committed to 30 Days of Truth, now I don't think I can commit to blogging every day for a month, but I would like to borrow from her list the ones that pique my interest the most.  I find it's a good resource for me to stimulate some blog posts, ideas and whatnot.  So here goes:

Truth #1 :  Something you hope you never have to do. 

This one was hard for me to decide.  There are two that come to the forefront of my mind almost immediately.  One a little more strongly than the other but both equally terrible situations.  I'll mention them both but only give full details about the one. 

a)  Bury my son.

b) Pull the plug on my mom or dad (or both).

Just the mere thought of having to say goodbye forever to my son is enough to make me choke up and well up with tears.   I've said this before and I'll say it again that it is something that I would never ever recover from.  I'm certain that no parent who has ever had to do it, has recovered.  It is the singularly most devastating thing that could happen to me.  I know, I just know that I would want to die too.  How do you put a billion pieces of broken heart back together?  How do you live without the person you knew that you always wanted and fell in love with the instant you knew was there with you?  The person you would die for, kill for, beg, borrow, steal for.  That is the truth.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Thirty-two and counting

Well, another year older.  I may not be that much wiser, but I am sure that I have learned a few things.  The time goes by so fast.  The past year has represented quite a large change in my life.  I felt like I closed one chapter of my life and opened another.  I started a new job within the organization I have worked with for the past 4 years which is in large part responsible for the transformation.  I have had more opportunities to learn and grow both personally and professionally.  I have learned some hard lessons and some very gratifying ones.  I am helping children get the services they need to be as successful as they can be no matter what their challenges are.  That in and of itself has made the past year worthwhile.  I believe that I was put on this Earth to improve the lives of children.  I sort of fell into it by accident, but now that I'm here, it feels like the right place for me.  Here is a summary of the lessons I have taken away from the past year. 

1.  Having a plan is great but things don't always go according to plan, so be flexible

2.  If life hands you lemons, make lemonade

3.  It is important to keep (as much as humanly possible) your work life separate from your home life

4.  Be thankful every day for the gifts you have been given

5.  Focus on strengths to minimize weakness

6.  When you go back to school as an adult you realize why school is designed for young people

7.  My happiness is tied directly to that of my son

8.  I have learned so much about Autism and Developmental Disabilities.  I don't even know where to begin to explain how much I have learned.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A colossal waste

Stop the hate. Embrace differences. Accept one another. It's not too much to ask. 

This was the status on FB that prompted my first blog request.  (That has never happened to me before, but I'm more than happy to oblige)

In essence I have just been bogged down by the media reports with hate at the centre.  The anti-gay, anti-religion, anti-everything you can think of that is  different from your beliefs.  I just think that the world would be a much better place if people just learned to accept what is different about others and move on.  Hate is the biggest time waster and serves no purpose except to breed more of exactly what we don't need on this planet.   It's a pretty sad state of affairs when young people are committing suicide to escape the bullying, or, I prefer the terms harassment or abuse, of their peers.  How do their parents go on?  I don't know.  I certainly don't know what I would do if I were in their shoes.  I can only imagine that I would want to die too.  Gay vs. dead.  Hm.  I'd take gay any day of the week and twice on Sunday.  I am not saying I'm perfect, but, I certainly know enough to keep my opinions to myself when I don't agree.  I try not to give unsolicited advice.  Other people's choices are none of my business.  We have the freedom to choose who we love, who we pray to, and how we want to live our lives.  If we break laws, there are consequences.  That's the great thing about the country we live in.  Who are we to judge the choices of others?  Before doing that, I think we need to take a good close look in the mirror.  The only person I can change, is myself.    

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A day for remembering

My grandfather is a WW2 veteran.  I want to thank him for all he did for his country.  We are so fortunate to live in a country where we have freedom, choices, the right to vote, and many other things that people in other war-torn countries can only dream of.  Today I am thinking of all the soldiers stationed overseas, risking their lives, to hopefully make a difference.  I am thinking of those who have given their lives for what they believe in.  I can't say I agree with the decisions our government has made, but I support men and women in our forces and recognize the risks that they take every day.  I hope and pray for their safe return. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

An hour gained

I love this weekend.  A whole hour gained is the best part of autumn.  My day feels like I have so much more time!  Had a great day on Saturday, watched movies with a great friend, ate yummy foods, watched my buggy get dunked by his swim teacher (I agreed), slept decently for the first time in at least a week, and generally feel refreshed.

I started writing this on Sunday, it is now Wednesday and the week isn't looking so good anymore.  My colleague will be away from work for a while and I'm now in the daunting situation of keeping us afloat on my own until she returns.  I hope I'll be ok, but at least I have some support where I work, and a pretty good manager who listens and is able to make a decision.

While I haven't been pondering serious topics lately the issue of ethics was raised by a friend and I just wanted to share my perspective and I hope no one takes offense, that is not in any way my intention. 

I think as women/mothers we take entirely too much onto ourselves.  Between guilty feelings, "Am I doing the right thing or not?"  and trying to do everything perfectly for our kids, making the right choices, and what-have-you, I think all we really effectively do is send our blood pressure through the roof.  I am trying to look at it this way:  I want my son to remember me as a fun, stable, firm parent.  I want him to know what to expect from me.  He won't like everything (I would worry if he did) but at least he will have consistency.  If I am anxiety ridden all the time, he will pick up on that and mimic that state of mind.  I want to show him that life is full of twists and turns that we actually have very little control over.  Yes we can choose what to eat, and what to use, but if the universe throws a wrench in the system, we have to re-group, re-adjust, and find another option.  Life is complicated enough, I am really trying not to aggravate the situation by over-thinking and over-analyzing the choices that I do make.  I want to enjoy my baby, enjoy our family, play hard and often, and get to sleep at a decent time.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Love cycle

It's giving and taking
pushing and pulling
holding and molding
hugging and kissing
praising and braising
helping and nudging
finding the right words to say
struggling not to say them
sometimes eating them
standing your ground
swallowing your pride
facing your fears
shielding their pain.
The hardest part of loving, is letting go.