Sunday, June 27, 2010

What's to worry about?


I am a worrier.  I know that I am.  I can't help it.  It is completely out of my control.  The other evening after an enjoyable evening with the BK gang at SB, one friend decided to walk home.  It was going on 10 pm and it was dark and even though she didn't have far to go, I insisted she update her FB status so I would know she was home safe.  When I arrived home, very faithfully I opened up my laptop logged on and went directly to her FB page and was glad to see she had updated her status.  I sighed a sigh of relief then went to bed.  Similarly, if I drop someone off at their home, no matter what time of day, I always wait until they have walked in the door before I leave.  Is this anxiety?  Am I a control freak?  I really hope not, but I really have no idea.  I have always been this way.  I tell my husband to call me if he's not going straight home, so that I won't start to worry until later.  Otherwise, if he's off at 6:00 and not home by 6:45 I start to worry.  I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't worrying.  I worry about my husband, my son, and virtually everyone who matters to me.  I worry about work, especially when I'm in the car on my way to work.  I make lists in my head about what I want to accomplish once I get there.  And if it doesn't go the way I had planned, I get extremely frustrated 

Oddly enough, I don't really worry about myself. I just figure, I'll be fine, I'll figure it out.  Except when I am late.  I can't stand being late because I worry that I'm keeping someone waiting, and that's not nice for them.  I know I hate to be the one left waiting and worrying that something might have happened to the other person. 

Am I wasting time by worrying about things that I have no control over?  I really don't know how to be any other way.  Therapy is expensive, so if anyone has any ideas, I am certainly open to them!

1 comment:

  1. I think your worrying is just your caring and compassionate personality trying to take care of everyone that you care about. And I am personally touched that you care enough to worry about me!